Pulling the Root That Tears Us Apart

A call for everyday leadership

"The root that tears apart your house's foundation begins as a seed of distrust and hate and blame." When Illinois Governor JB Pritzker spoke these words in his recent State of the State address (quote begins at approx. 30:20), he captured something I'd been struggling to articulate. In an era where our news feeds overflow with division, destruction, and blame, his words reminded me that leadership – true leadership – begins with recognizing our shared humanity.

I've had the privilege of traveling across the globe, meeting people whose daily lives look vastly different from my own. Coming from the world of agriculture, many of these experiences have been through international study trips, and they've revealed a profound truth about our shared humanity.

During a study trip to southeastern Brazil, where my group toured farms, food processing facilities, and research institutions, something striking emerged. The conversations with Brazilian farmers could have been lifted directly from any farming community in the U.S. They shared the same concerns: price volatility, extreme weather risks, access to the human and financial capital to get all the work done, and the impact of changing regulations. Like their American counterparts, they were deeply invested in sustaining their operations for future generations while caring for their animals and natural resources.

This wasn't unique to Brazil. Whether in Kenya, Cuba, or Morocco, I found these same conversations playing out. These experiences have shown me that the walls we build between "us" and "them" are far more fragile than the bonds of our common humanity.

This perspective makes our current political climate all the more troubling. Each day brings fresh examples of leadership that divides rather than unites, that exploits differences rather than celebrates our common ground. Yet rather than add to the chorus of despair, I want to focus on something more powerful: the potential for leadership that exists in each of us.

Leadership isn't confined to political offices or corporate executive teams. It manifests in daily choices, conversations, and actions that influence those around us. When management experts define leadership as "a set of mindsets and behaviors that align people in a collective direction," they're describing something that happens not just in grand speeches, but in everyday moments. Moments like bridging disagreements at work, organizing a neighborhood cleanup, or mentoring someone new to your field. Leadership, when practiced from a place of care and selflessness, advances the collective good.

When we talk about countering distrust, hate, and blame, it starts with how we show up in our everyday interactions. Here are the key mindsets and behaviors that I've found most impactful:

Build Trust. While "build trust" might seem obvious given our problem with distrust, the challenge lies in making it concrete. FranklinCovey's research on 13 Behaviors of High Trust offers practical guidance. I'm currently focusing on two areas: communicating clearly (Behavior #1) and setting clear expectations (Behavior #9). Which behaviors resonate with your leadership journey?

Build Strong Relationships. Social connection is a baseline human need. Besides that, strong relationships give us space to practice trust, vulnerability, listening, and learning. Strong relationships allow us to explore and make mistakes without being ostracized. As an introvert, I naturally gravitate toward deep, meaningful connections. But even for me, intentionally making time for relationships is crucial - otherwise, that endless to-do list takes over. My approach includes:

• Saying 'yes' to nearly all opportunities to connect with family and friends

• Scheduling regular non-work conversations with colleagues

• Practicing those trust behaviors we just discussed

• Creating space to truly understand what matters to others

Practice Curiosity. Questions are powerful tools. At my company, we use the phrase "practice blameless problem solving." This means separating people from problems - not to ignore accountability, but to focus on finding root causes rather than pointing fingers. It's challenging work, but it shifts us from blame to solutions.

Know Yourself. Self-awareness shapes how we lead. Understanding your values, strengths, weaknesses, and needs helps you align with environments where you can make your best contribution. While this deserves its own deep dive (stay tuned for future newsletters!), it's fundamental to building influence.

Self-Care is Key. As our friendly flight attendants remind us- we must secure our own oxygen mask before assisting others. You can’t show up at your best if you are running on empty. Leading effectively requires sustained energy. This means:

• Meeting your basic needs (sleep, nutrition, movement)

• Making time for activities that energize (or re-energize) you

• Connecting with people and places that inspire hope, because addressing distrust and division isn't a sprint - it's a marathon.

Start Where You Are. We all have spaces and places where we have influence today. Think about those spaces or places: your family, social circles, community groups, or workplace. These are your proving grounds for building trust, fostering understanding, and taking action for collective good.

This list isn't exhaustive - it's a starting point. What other practices have you found effective in your everyday leadership? How are you using your influence to make positive change?

Let's build something better together.